“Take a deep breath, in through the nose, nice and slow. Now hold. Feel the air in your lungs. Feel it as it oxygenates your blood, spreading throughout your body, nourishing every cell from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.”
A group of men and women sat around in a circle, naked, meditating with their eyes closed. A facilitator, also in the circle, led the group through the breathing and meditation exercises. She was a beautiful woman in her late 30s. But she had a magical youthfulness about her. People who met her on the street typically assumed she was only in her mid-20s. What was her secret to looking so young and vibrant?
Tantra, she claimed. At least, a special brand of tantra, that she taught in Los Angeles. People paid $100 a session just to come, sit in a room full of other naked people, and breathe and meditate for an hour. She led them through a guided imagery.
“Now imagine yourself in a beautiful place. It can be anywhere that makes you feel safe, happy, warm, and cozy. Free to be yourself. Maybe it’s your bedroom at home. Or the beach. Or a peaceful walk through the woods, surrounded by nature and singing birds.”
Everyone, eyes closed, still focusing on deep inhaling breathes, pictured their various happy places. This meditation was only the first part of the tantra session. Sheila, the facilitator, would lead them all into another room after they had all finished meditating, centering, and opening up their chakras. This other room, adjacent to theirs now, was separated only by a maroon-colored silk sheet. A dark red blanket that hung from the ceiling and gently flowed in the breeze. On the other side was a room known as The Room of 1,000 Orgasms.
“Good, good,” Sheila said, still leading them through their meditation. “Excellent. Now take another deep breath, and focus on your connection to Mother Earth. Feel your root chakra opening up, blooming like a flower in Spring. Feel it expanding and opening, as your connection to Earth deepens, and you energetically become one with the planet and one another.”
Among this circle of naked men and women was a young man named David. He was in his early 20s and still new to all this tantra stuff. He was a good-looking guy. Nothing special or ridiculously handsome or anything, but cute enough to catch the eyes of a few girls. He wasn’t especially endowed. Pretty skinny, not very muscular. But he was about six feet tall and had dark hair, so he definitely had that going for him.
Unfortunately, though, it apparently wasn’t enough. He had been on a few dates in high school and college. But not many. Not enough, in his opinion. All his friends seemed to go on a lot more dates. Especially in college. Everyone seemed to be making out all the time. Hooking up all the time. Getting drunk and getting laid – All. The. Time.
And somehow David missed out on all that. It wasn’t from lack of trying. He liked girls. He wanted to be with girls. But… he was also a bit shy around girls.
Ironic, since now he sat completely naked in a room full of total strangers, men and women, from ages 18 through 49.
That was kind of why he joined the Tantra Club. He needed to break out of his shell. Get more comfortable in his sexuality. Find some courage and confidence when it came to asking out women. David wasn’t a virgin, thankfully, but he didn’t exactly have much experience in sex either. He had only been with two women. The first girl, they only had sex three times. It was awkward. Neither of them knew what they were doing. He came embarrassingly fast. She never did. And due to “other” issues, they decided to break up soon after.
His second partner was a little bit better. He wasn’t as nervous with her. He actually could stay hard most of the time around her. He didn’t cum in his pants before they got started. Her vagina felt tighter and a better fit around him. They had a better chemistry and connection too. But she also lived an hour and a half away. And that was without traffic. During rush hour, it was easily double that time. So they didn’t get to see each other very much. The sex was still a little awkward at first, but at least they could laugh about it together. He still finished within a minute or two, tops. Usually in under 30 seconds. She had to masturbate to finish herself off.
Tantra Club, David hoped, would help him feel more comfortable in his own body, get more control over his own premature ejaculation, and feel more confident in approaching women and making love to them.
David wasn’t much of an initiator. He liked to say he was just shy around girls, or inexperienced, and that was why he didn’t feel so confident. But deep down, he felt another truth. He just didn’t like making the first move. He didn’t like taking control and leading all the time. Sometimes, once in a while, sure. But it seemed like every girl was waiting for the man to initiate everything. The first kiss. The first move. As the man, he was expected to be on top all the top. Do all the work. Stay hard as long as possible. Pleasure her as well as himself. It was exhausting.
Just because he had a penis, did that mean he had to take charge and be in control of everything? He found out, just last week, that a “just friends” girl he had a crush on since high school admitted to him that she liked him too. There were many times they were hanging out alone. Many times he wanted to have sex with her. But they never did. Because he was a “nice guy.” He didn’t make the first move. Well, it turned out, as he recently learned, that she would’ve let him go all the way with her – if he just took initiative and did it.
Unfortunately now, this girl had a serious boyfriend. So David, nice guy that he was, wasn’t going to break that up. It was too late to get with this girl. But maybe it didn’t have to be too late with future girls.
He just needed to feel confidence, courage, and manliness. He needed to take charge, take the initiative, make the first move – make all the moves – and just act on all those primal sexual urges that he had gotten so good at repressing and hiding.
So he signed up for Tantra Club. Dropped – “invested” — $100 per session to learn how to breathe, meditate, and connect with his own body. Feel his own masculine energy and power. Grow in confidence.
As he sat there in the circle naked, another part of him started to grow too.
He tried not to focus on it.
How embarrassing. In front of all these complete strangers. Was he the only one with an erection? They’re eyes were supposed to stay closed. But he opened one to peek.
One girl was actually fingering herself, silently, squirming a little but trying not to draw attention to herself. Several other men had erections too. A couple had their eyes open as well, staring at the girls – or other men, in one guy’s case. But most people had their legs crossed, in meditation position, hands open resting on their knees, eyes closed, visualizing each of their chakras opening as Sheila guided them through, one by one.
At least David wasn’t the only one feeling aroused and rising to attention right now. Sheila, the youthful and beautiful 39-year-old, had her eyes open and carefully watched everyone as she continued speaking.
“Now imagine your heart chakra opening – opening wide. Feel the love flowing in and out of your heart. You feel connected to all of life through your heart. You are fully connected to each other now through your heart. Breathe into your heart. And as you exhale, release all insecurities, all self-doubts and self-criticisms, all judgments, all inhibitions. Just release. Just let go. Just relax. You are safe here. You are free here. Feel the love entering and exiting, back and forth, in and out, moving through your heart chakra.”
David closed his eyes again and continued with the meditation.
Sheila’s voice was calming and soothing. Almost entrancing. Not almost. Actually. He felt himself drifting deeper into the sensations of this guided meditation. Feeling his whole body, heart, and mind opening up, letting go, and allowing in. This was what he wanted. This was what he needed. To open up. To relax. To let go. To surrender.
He needed to find his courage, his confidence, his masculinity, his initiative. He needed to feel comfortable and confident in his own body and in how to use it. He wanted to have great sex with many women. Pleasuring them. Bringing them to orgasm, over and over again. Bringing himself to higher and higher orgasms, each and every time. Longer-lasting sex. Deeper, more passionate sex. Erotic, more blissful, more powerful sex.
He wanted to be set free. He wanted to let his insecurities and self-doubts go. He wanted to release his self-judgments, self-criticisms, and self-induced inhibitions. He could do this. This was why he came here.
And then… he came.
Did anyone notice? Did anyone see?
How was he supposed to hide this now? He quickly scooped it up in his hand. Tried to wipe his penis clean. It quickly softened. This happened often. He didn’t feel hard anymore. Fuck. This was exactly the reason he came here. He needed help. A lot of help.
And Sheila promised him – she promised everyone – that after taking her class, studying under her, and progressing through her high-priced sessions, all would enjoy a new level, an unimaginable level, of sexual satisfaction and adventure.
David had no idea just how true that promise would be.
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