Erik Anderson stood in front of the full-length mirror, wearing a pair of his girlfriend’s underwear. They were pink and silky with a little bit of lace around the edges. They were high cut and in the back, they rode up on him revealing the bottom curves of his cheeks. It should have been uncomfortable, he thought. But it wasn’t exactly like that. The underwear was soft and smooth and it felt light against his skin. He always thought women were crazy for wearing such tight form fitting clothes, and that having fabric up their butt had to be annoying. But as he looked at himself, as he looked at his legs and how the cut of the underwear highlighted the curve of his upper thigh, as they led his gaze back towards his crotch, he realized just how powerfully sexy the underwear made him feel. They were a tool. Maybe that was how women felt. Maybe it made them feel like exactly who they wanted to be.
Erik and his girlfriend Melatti were both seniors at McClintock High School. They had known each other all four years, but only started dating during the summer between junior and senior year. Erik had gone with some buddies to a pool party at a friend’s place and Melatti was there. Erik had never seen her in a bathing suit before, but once he did, Mel lounging there by the pool in a soft blue one-piece swimsuit, with one shoulder exposed, his feelings for her immediately began to grow and change. As the night went on, they talked more and more and slowly separated themselves from the rest of the party. Even though she had put on a t-shirt over her swimsuit, and wore cutoff shorts, Mel still exuded feminine sexuality. The rest of the night was a blur and as their friends were getting drunker, they somehow were making a connection. And then somehow Mel was suddenly sitting on his lap, and they had begun making out a little. After that, they had pretty much been a steady thing.
Erik shifted in front of the mirror again, trying to get an angle so he could fully see himself, front and back. Time crept by and soon he had stood there a little too long. He had forgotten himself, forgotten where he was, and forgotten that Melatti was there behind him, lying on her bed, sans underwear. He was so transfixed, he had forgotten she was even in the room, until finally her voice cut the silence to remind him.
“E! Stop goofing around and give those back!”
Erik turned his gaze in the mirror so he could look at her in the reflection. She was beautiful. She was exposed. Maybe intentionally. He was pretty sure he had her legs spread a little on purpose.
She was also super pissed at him.
Erik couldn’t remember why he had put on Melatti’s underwear. He remembered taking them off her. He remembered kissing her between her legs and lingering long enough to tease her. But then he had stopped. They were sexual, but they weren’t having sex yet. They played with each other. Explored each other. Learned from each other. Their hands had been everywhere. Their mouths had been everywhere. But they hadn’t done it yet. They were waiting. Or more accurately, he was waiting.
The waiting wasn’t really an issue of religion for him. Some people waited and some people didn’t. Some people considered it a sin not to wait. He was pretty sure Mel considered the fact that they were waiting a sin. But that was a different issue. Erik wasn’t so worried about the sin or his immortal soul or what would happen if he had sex before marriage. Maybe he was scared. If he was, could he admit that to Mel? He wasn’t exactly sure. That only made him more nervous. He wanted to trust Mel and to be able to tell her everything. But fears and anxiety were seldom sexy and he definitely wanted to seem attractive to her.
Sure there were pressures to “be a man” and many of his friends had already done it, but he didn’t feel like he needed to measure up to them. It was just a big step, and big steps could be intimidating sometimes. He wanted to get big steps right.
He knew for sure that Mel wasn’t scared. She was always telling him how she wanted to “know” him, as if him being inside her would really make her know what was going on inside his mind. She had often insisted, often when he had been kissing and licking between her legs for too long, and she couldn’t stand it anymore. She had reached out and grabbed him before. She had even begged once or twice.
He wanted to do it. He really did. Just not yet. Something never felt right. And he wanted it to feel right. If he was going to do it, he wanted it to mean everything. He wanted it to last forever and mean that they were going to be together forever. But forever was a big scary word. He was barely eighteen, barely an adult, barely aware of his own hopes and dreams and desires. How could he be sure about her and their future and everything else?
It was all too much to think of at once. Better to live in the moment and reflect later. He looked back at himself in the mirror, looked back at Mel’s underwear.
No, he couldn’t remember why he put them on. It started as a joke. He thought he wanted to make her laugh. He liked making her laugh. She was always saying how much she loved his sense of humor. He pulled her underwear from her willing body, and then felt the soft fabric against his hands, and suddenly he wanted to feel the cotton touch against his more sensitive skin.
And then he was standing in front of the mirror studying himself.
“What’s the problem?” he asked playfully. “Don’t you think I’m sexy?”
He shifted his legs a little and turned his torso to highlight the bulge in the crotch.
“You’re going to stretch them out and ruin them.”
“I think you’d like that.”
“I think I’d like you to get over here, so we can see what else can be done with that thing, that doesn’t involve ruining my stuff.”
Erik spun to face her fully, and he began to dance a little. “I’m too sexy… too sexy… too sexy it hurts…”
“What are you doing?!”
“Singing you a little song.” Erik continued to dance while he hummed a little tune, not even fully aware what he was singing.
She laughed a little giggle. It was cute. He wasn’t sure if she was faking it for his benefit or if she really found him funny. He guessed it didn’t really matter.
“Maybe you prefer a little ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’?” He jumped into place and did the “Time Warp” dance.
Her eyes lit up and she jumped out of bed to join him. They laughed and joked and danced, putting their hands on their hips and thrusting their pelvis to the left and to the right. That made for a ridiculous image, he was sure. Him in her panties and her standing bottomless and bare, dancing a silly dance together. They were young and had no shame or embarrassment in their motions. Young adulthood had shielded them from such things.
“So is this how you like your men?” he kidded. “Just a sweet transvestite from Transylvania?”
“Huh? Seems more like you’re ‘Hedwig and the Angry Inch’ to me…” She jokingly pointed down at his manhood and the overstuffed crotch of her panties.
“INCH? More than that. That’s at least twelve and a half,” he sarcastically added.
“Oh yeah? I’ll be the judge of that.”
She reached out and cupped him in her hand.
“No… An inch seems about right,” she laughed.
He struggled to stand up straight as his flaccid member flopped out of the side of the pink panties. He blushed, unsure of himself. Her hand lingered and she slowly rubbed one finger long ways against his skin. He couldn’t concentrate enough to come up with another silly retort.
“Nothing to say? Cat got your wang? Or is that tongue… how does that silly saying go again? Oh bother…” She ran the back of her hand briskly along his inner thigh and watched his member respond.
Soon she was on her knees, taking him in her mouth, her pink panties down around his ankles. He could barely stand. He leaned back and tried to grab something to hold on to. He couldn’t think. Time was a blur and he was lost in the moment.
Later, they lay together on the floor. He was on his back and she had her head nestled up against his chest. His mind was cleared and he felt good. He loved the warmth of her body pressed up against his.
“I have to admit, you were pretty sexy in my underwear.”
“Really? You think so?”
“Yes I do. I think you should do that again. And maybe I’ll wear yours…”
Erik thought long and hard about what to say next. He was shy. He was embarrassed. But he liked Melatti so much, and everything that had happened had made him feel so much stronger and so much more confident. He wanted to share that with her. He wanted to be close to her. She was always saying she wanted to know him, even if she meant something different when she said it.
“You know… I kinda did feel sexy…” he began.
Melatti sat up and playfully slapped him on the chest.
“You did! I knew it. You’re so kinky,” she joked. “Pretty soon you’re gonna make me try all sorts of weird stuff.”
Erik laughed a little and sat up too. “I don’t mean it like that.”
“No… what I meant was…” He trailed off, suddenly reticent. He took her hand in his and massaged her fingers for a moment, feeling her soft tender skin.
“What is it?”
“It felt good, sure. I mean I guess I understand now why women wear such nice things. But there’s more…” He paused for a long time before continuing. “I don’t want this to sound strange or like I’m weird or something.”
“You can trust me.”
“Good…” he wanted to believe that was true. “It’s stupid really. I was just going to say when I was young I always wondered what it would be like. You know?”
“Wondered what? What do you mean?”
“I guess I used to put on my mom’s clothes – silky pajamas or run around in her high heeled shoes… I don’t know. It was so different from what boys had. I was curious. It felt so different. I… I guess I sort of wondered what it would be like if I had been a girl instead of a boy.”
Mel stared at him in silence.
Erik waited for her reply.
But there was only the long pregnant silence between them.
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